597 days, 9 hours, 26 minutes since Bush is out of office!.
Pakistan....told you so.
Some time ago I commented on how in the aftermath of the attacks of 9-11 that the Bush Administrations open-armed, blank check lovefest with the Pakistani Government was a down-right shitty idea.
Now, in the past week it turns out that the estimation made by our government in 2001 that "Credible reporting indicates that Pakistan is providing the Talibanwith materiel, fuel, funding, technical assistance, and military advisers" was pretty much spot-onand that not much has changed.
But Dave, you say, I haven't seen anything in the news that says anything bad about Pakistan.
That's because the mainstream News (especially those of the Television Variety) is full of idiots.
Click here for a couple of million links to "Pakistain Aid to Taliban" stories.
You see Pakistan just helped bomb the Indian Embassy in Afghanistan. Their government is weak and ineffective in the areas where the Taliban and Al Qeda are hiding and training...and it's time to stop coddling them...and to take action.
If it weren't so fucking tragic, I'd be doing my "Told you so" dance.
I'm not, nor could I ever run for President...and I doubt that anyone in our government would ever be smart enough to ask my opinion on anything or to put me in charge of any part of making our country safer...but if I ever got to such a position, I would have a conversation with the Pakistan government that went something like this:
Me: Hello (pakistani officials name that rhymes with "Milani" here) how are you today.
Pakistani Official: I am fine. How are you?
Me: I'm great...but I wanted to ask you something of great importance.
Pakistani Official: What's that?
Me: Do you like Glass?
Pakistani Official: Glass? Why yes, I suppose I like glass. In fact the great artisans of Islam and many great sultans perfected many glass-making techniques that are most impressive. In fact, we were making wonderful glass art when your Western ancestors were still throwing their feces out of windows into the streets.
Me: Good. I'm glad you like Glass. Do you know how it's made?
Pakistani Official: It is made from by melting sand.
Me: Actually, glass is made by combining different qualities of Sand, soda ash, limestone, and borax. Interestingly enough...these are all minerals that are found in great supply and in wonderfully fabulous quantities in the hills and mountains of the region that borders Afghanista...your so called Federal Autonomous Tribal Area? Is that what it's called?
Pakistani Official: Yes they are. I'm guessing now, because our past dealings with President Bush, that you would now like to write me a check for hundreds of millions of dollars because one of your rich benefactors in the United States who helped to put you into power wants to start a Glass Factory using our raw materials? You can make the check out to...
Me: Um, No. The Glass won't be an item made on purpose...though if it comes to be made...you can do whatever the fuck you want to do with it.
Pakistani Official: I'm sorry I don't understand.
Me: Well, The United States has two things that produce lots of thermal heat. They are as follows: 1. Bombs dropped from Stealth Bombers, and 2. Thermonuclear Warheads affixed to very accurate missile technolgy. The thermal heat from these weapons would be enough to turn an entire mountain range up in your FATA regions to complete and total glass. Are you following me?
Pakistani Official: Are you threatening me to...
Me: No. This is not a threat. This guy named Osama Bin Laden masterminded the killing of over 3,000 Americans on our own soil...and I and a lot of people like me in my country want this mother fucker dead. Are you familiar with the term "Motherfucker"?
Pakistani Official: There is no need to use such language...
Me: I'm sorry but you see when members of your government helped to arm, plan and carry out attacks on our soldiers inside of Afghanistan...and when people from your country helped put people in power that killed those 3,000 people I mentioned earlier, not only do I get to use whatever language I like...you should be quite happy that I have not yet ripped your head off and shit down your fucking neck...do you understand THAT?
Pakistani Official: Your tone sir.
Me: My tone, goes like this. You have 4 days from this moment. (I would take a digital clock -pre-set to countdown from 4 days backwards- out of my briefcase) See this clock here...4 days equals 96 hours. (I'd press start on the counter) You have 4 days to produce Osama Bin Laden. We know he is in your country.
Pakistani Official: But sir we have told you many times that we do not know where he is...
Me: Save it...because if after 4 days Osama Bin Laden is not trotted out to a waiting Humvee in Afghanistan in leg irons, either one of those 2 options I talked about earlier are going to turn entire mountain ranges to glass.
Pakistani Official: We have told you many times...
Me: You shouldn't be upset....this is only about 400 to 900 square
miles of a part of your country that ya'll keep telling us you have no
jurisdiction in anyway.
Pakistani Official: that's right they are called FATA, and we ....
Me: Chop-Chop, you now have 95 hours 57 minutes and about 45...no 38 seconds. You have leg-irons to procure...an asshole to arrest...and many people to warn....oh and have a nice day.
And that's how it would go.
